Acceptance

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”

I’m having some trouble lately at accepting things as they are and what part I can or cannot change. It’s taken awhile but I feel I have a better idea of what I want for myself. I’ve done a considerable amount of work on myself, accumulating in my ability to voice my needs or wants. Things are not the way I want them – this is hard to deal with. I would like to be done with school, start my career, and be in a place that provides for more spiritual growth. I cannot change the fact that I do not have these things now and I am frustrated by this lack of instant gratification. God has provided that me needs are met. He has provided that I have the possibility for my wants to come true, but I am having trouble accepting that I’m not there NOW.

It’s a gorgeous day outside, I’ve been reminded today that I am loved by many, I have money for food (for the coffee I got to give me the energy to attempt my paper), I have what I need and much more. I am grateful for my life, yet am plagued by this uneasy feeling of un-acceptance. Whether this changes soon or not, I’m not sure. I feel myself isolating as to not burden those I love with my troubles, but I’ve been told and shown many times that this doesn’t make it better.

My life is precious, it’s the only one I have. It’s up to God and I to make the best of it. So I’m working on accepting the things I can’t change and finding the courage to accept the things I can and hoping I have enough wisdom to know the difference.

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