This past week as I celebrated three years of continuous sobriety, I thought about the time that has gone by. Two common elements in my life over the years have been gratitude and acceptance. They have also been very prevalent in the past three months, as I have navigated and enjoyed my travels on The Buzz Bus tour.
When I made the decision to get sober, it wasn’t about my future or my past, it wasn’t about gratitude, and maybe only a little about acceptance of the fact that how I was living wasn’t working anymore. I felt diminished, insecure, and alone. In others that had recovered from the disease of alcoholism I saw hope that I didn’t have to continue feeling this way. I saw a glimpse of the life that I am now living. Through some hard work, a little more pain, and many awkward moments,
I was able to find myself amid my despair. I have learned to accept where I am, how I am feeling. My teachers, among those who are recovering, continue to show me how to live life joyously. They share their experiences in how they travel through life and guide me in living mine.
Three years is a long time, but then again it’s o so short! Since, I made that decision my life has not been the same. Not always happy, joyous, and free – but always better. I now have the underlying feeling that no matter what is happening in the present moment, everything will be ok. I am where I am supposed to be. I am experiencing what I need to experience. My support group helps me gain acceptance and be grateful for where I am.
The past three months has felt like an intense roller coaster ride, with a mixture of highs and lows. I’ll catch myself driving sometimes and think, “What am I doing here…o that’s right getting to see the country”. There are also times when I yearn to be back home with my family and friends. It’s a sticky balance sometimes, while I’m getting to experience our country in the most positive way possible, I am also away from those who have thoroughly changed my life, those who I want to share my experiences with. Everyday is a process of…
Acceptance and Gratitude.