Today reality sucks.
I continue to over-think the past to try and understand how reality could make such a shift. This isn’t what I was thinking or hoping today would look like.
Life changed my plans. and today that reality sucks.
I’m not sure yet how to actually accept the new reality I am forced to deal with. Intellectually I can accept it. I can understand it.
I can’t feel it. My heart still yearns for the past. for the past to be the present. The reality is such a shock, my heart doesn’t know how to respond.
I guess the actual facts of what happened won’t be that significant. The time was short. The facts could be argued either way. That there wasn’t much there.
I left a lot of myself out there, though. I had never allowed myself to be as vulnerable, as I was in the recent past. And I have not felt this vulnerable in over eight years, when a similar shock to my heart took place.
I made the choice to be vulnerable. Now I have to deal with the reality of that vulnerability. And today the reality sucks.