Recently I’ve been told that I need a dating plan. Of course there is always boy in the picture who instigates these talks…why else would I be thinking of such things…but really he’s just a catalyst for what I’ve been trying to deal with for quite some time.
What do I want a relationship to look like?
I still have a difficult time answering this question, because I’m not sure I want a plan. I still have this fairytale ideal that the plan will all just magically fall into place when that knight in shining armor rides in on a white stallion to sweep me off my feet. I have now realized that he won’t be riding a horse or actually be a knight (maybe he’ll wear shinning armor), but that spontaneity and picture perfect day-dream still drive many of my relationship expectations.
When I first heard, “make a plan” – I thought why! Why do I have to plan out what it’s supposed to look like, isn’t HE (the magical he) just supposed to appear and it’s marriage, babies, and happily ever after? isn’t the plan just supposed to make itself? since when do I have do any planning for what it should look like? I accepted (long ago) that I need to work on myself in order to maintain the best relationship, but spelling it out? now that’s just asking to much…isn’t it?
I want that movie spontaneity…the serendipity of love…movie love. YET I want it to be REAL. I want the Sid and Nancy, the indie movie type realness that makes you truly believe in the power of love. How do these two actually meet? a movie type love…yet real. I’m pretty sure most would consider those polar opposites.
So how do I make them mesh….then form a plan…
Now that’s a work in progress.