A Shock of Peace

Were you ever trying to describe to a friend what you felt was indescribable only to have them find the perfect words.

This happened to me the other day. As I was describing my seemingly odd feelings of being thrown off, yet strangely calm and that it felt so natural. She kindly asked, “Does it feel like a constant state of shock, yet a sense of peace?” I couldn’t believe she could actually put it in to words.

I’ve been hit by a shock of peace. It’s a feeling where I have no idea what I’m doing, yet everything just seems to flow naturally.

And I’m enjoying the peaceful uncertainty. I actually feel safe here.

My mind is swimming with the possibilities. Constantly day dreaming the future and reliving the past. Then I come to the present and wonder “what the fuck do I do now?”. I haven’t charted these waters before and I am fearful. I am afraid of the negative possibilities and enjoying the positive too much. How you enjoy the positive too much, I’m not quite sure…but like I said I’m baffled by a lot of the things I’m feeling right now.

Overall this sense of peace is exhilarating. It’s like a breath of fresh air that I didn’t know I needed.

The uncertainty is kind of fun. The fear is appeased by a sense of peace. It will all work out.

But again…what do I do? How do you do this? What’s the next step? What do you say? How do you act? I feel so lost, yet oddly confident in the actions I’m taking.

So here’s to the exciting possibilities of being shocked into a state of peaceful bliss.

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