A reoccurring theme has been present for the past month: the need to change your story.
Originally spurred by a decision to change careers and the stress, emotions, and reasons behind that. I started to change how I viewed my relationship with that career, that manager, that friend. I started to recognize the beliefs I had surrounding the experience that created my need to stay and take on more than was expected of me.
At the Sun Valley Wellness Festival in Idaho, I heard two speakers who both reiterated this message along with another gentleman I encountered on the expo floor.
“We can make it rain or we can kill ourselves based on the story we tell ourselves.” – Eric Saperston
Eric spoke about wonder, our insatiable need to see the beauty around us. The rain signifies the abundance of life and our ability to grow. Based on the story we tell ourselves on a daily basis about the circumstances life presents – we can either grow with the rain or die from the weight. He stressed that we need to up our game on the language we use to narrate our lives, therefore upping our game on who we are and who we want to be.
It’s time to up my game.
Kyle Cease, an inspirational comedian, expressed that we’ve been conditioned to believe that what others are doing is more important, therefore creating a story that we can’t be who we really want to be. “People like to identify with the thunderstorm, when they are the sky.” He stressed that your story is based on your past, because that’s all your mind can comprehend. We can’t gauge or value something that hasn’t happened yet. We only have the ability to measure what we can lose, not what we can gain…yet there is an infinite list of what we could gain.
It’s time to let go of my past.
Another gentleman (unfortunately I forgot his name) that helps people through transformations, delivered an impromptu session helping me to feel more confident. It’s a strange thing to describe through words, but I left the experience feeling more confident and a little lighter. He also focused on a story that I had created regarding my confidence, helping me to change the language and release the old.
It’s time to change my story.
Since I’ve returned home, I have begun to recognize when I respond based on stories or messages I tell myself. Some of these have been positive, but unfortunately a majority of them do not serve me well. They reinforce a feeling of inferiority, unworthiness, or self-doubt. I have this strong story that tells me, if I am even the least bit uncertain of a decision then I shouldn’t fight to defend it and that others know better than me. This has led to me not speaking up, not standing up for myself, and allowing multiple boundaries to be crossed or never formed.
What I’ve realized is that no one knows everything. No one is perfect. This is not a NEW revelation, it just feels as though I’ve finally heard it. Down to my core, I now know that I don’t have to be perfect. I don’t have to know everything before I act. I can make mistakes and learn as I go. I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard or helped someone come to this conclusion – but I finally realize it myself.
We all have the ability to change our stories. To change our minds. To change ourselves at anytime. Those who don’t support positive growth, don’t need to be around. I know it’s not a simple fix and it’s going to take some work…especially establishing boundaries in relationships that don’t have any right now. I’m kind of excited for the work though – excited for the growth. Excited to take care of myself.
What stories can you change? What messages can you recognize today?